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JESUSLAND by David Ippolito
©2005

I'm a new breed of American, with quite a lot t'say
As patriotic and religious as y'get.

I'm a brand new kinda Christian, in the good ol' USA
And, ya don't know whut t'make of me quite yet.
You liberal folks are jes too analytical.
Yer called the "intellectual elite".
Ya like to use big words like "hypocritical"
Jes becuz my words and actions hardly meet.

Well...

Welcome to Jesusland!
Where we made George Bush the president, and now he can command
That the people of this country live exactly as we planned.
Welcome to Jesusland!

Jus look on any dollar bill, it says, "In God we Trust"
So, we ask his help in everythin' we do.
Now we got Freedom of Religion. I Reckon that means that we must
Tolerate the atheist and Jew.
But, Jesus is the man, and our salvation.
And, every war we wage is in his name.
We think his Bible should be taught in every nation,
And, we'll bomb anyone who doesn't feel the same.

Welcome to Jesusland!
Where we all love thy neighbor,
IF thy neighbors understand,
We won't let to many Mexicans across the Rio Grande.
Welcome to Jesusland!

Now W's a married man, and Laura is his wife,
Of their family values and beliefs we sing.
They oppose a woman's right to choose, becuz they're both "PRO Life"
And executions.... wellllll, that's a 'nuther thing.
George goes to church where he'll sing from his hymnal,
Cause Jesus once protected him from harm.
But if you're a convicted death row crim'nal
He's been known to stick a needle in yer arm.

Welcome to Jesusland!
Where that Moses guy says, "Try to pry... this rifle from my hand."
The Prince of Peace don't want my AK-47 to be banned.
Welcome to Jesusland!

Rush Limbaugh is the people's voice, cuz we sure like to listen
He a moral and a real straight-talkin' guy,
Who says crack-smokin' addicts... should all go straight to prison.
We don't care that when he said it he was high.

O'Reilly is another moral beacon.
That married man got no "spin" in his zone.
He's always right... po-lit-tickly speakin'
Once he's finished talkin' dirty on the phone. (SHUT UP!)

Welcome to Jesusland!
Where we see the Lord in every Walmart, Sears and Disneyland
And, while some may turn the other cheek, we draw lines in the sand.
Welcome to Jesusland!

Yesh, in Jesusland... everyone knows better
But it's not a place you liberal folks can find.
You see it's not a state that's red... or even redder.
Jesusland is just a state of mind!

Jesusland is here to stay!
Don't judge by the way I live, jes live by what I say.
It's Jesus' will to build a neo-Christian U... S... A...

Welcome to Jesuland!

Welcome to Je--sus--laaaaaannnnnnd!